So incase i havn't ranted about it to you already. Saturday was Fantastic. I dont think ive ever had so much fun at a dance. suprisingly, some boys can really dance. Its not all panguins and bricks. =)hehehe...yah,anyways homecomming was very fun. heck, we were on a fricken BOAT!!!!! that has to pwn about ever dance ive ever gone to.How come all the seatle boys that go to u prep that i know have so many better names then like....alot of the people. maybe its just that they pull the names of better. mmm yah, deffinetly thinking they beat most oly boys, seeing as all the cute ones that are in oly seem to turn out gay....aw well. Pretty much my whole life has been pretty fantastic. To bad i don't live closer to seatle though. I'll be able to drive in november though so thats exciting. =) Anyways. Im sitting in my accounting class. (yes im in accounting because i am smart and thouroughly enjoy it.) I actually want to gain my CPA. That has become my all consuming goal. Along with being a truck driver for a year, being a bar tender in collage, being a flight attendent, and...being famouse. those are pretty much what i want to accomplish by the end of my life. Owning a fortune fivehundred company would also be nice. I know most of you are thinking, how the hell is that dumb blonde going to do even half of a fourth of all the stuff she mention? news flash, i actually am smart, im applying myself and its going to happen. I will become succesful and eventually i will learn how to spell =) haha. anyways. yah. the days are so much more fun when your smiling.

        So, on saturday i went up to Alderwood Mall with Suzanne and Jake And Nate to try out for a model search hosted by 17 magazeen. WEll, we didn't get called, we actualled ended up not winning the prize we were called for, but we got our makeup done and had the best fricken time ever. EXCEPT!


this is the part that goes with the tittle.

anyways. We were off to go show grandmother this amazingly versitle make up stuff that i'm in love with. While we were walking there was this older man at one of the booths that sell things. He asks us if he can ask us a question. Being me i say sure cuz he seems harmless. He asks me if i've heard of the dead sea, well duh i have so i answer yes. At this point in time my grandmother and everyone else has walked away, i guess they were hoping i would walk away to if they left me. but no, im to nice, i dont want to be rude and ruin this mans speech. But see, the thing is hes REALLY creepy....when he brought me to his booth i felt so icky, he was exuding an ora that I'm sure Ted Bundy would have given off. It just freaked me out. He was touching me like a normal person discribing skin products. just, he kept eye contact with me the whole time. I guess you would have to be in my position.Wich i hope you never are, but anyways. yah, i still feel so sick every time i think back to that moment. So point of this is, if you go to the Alderwood mall, do NOT go any were near the dead sea salt skin products. you might be in for more then you expected. fucking creepy.

        Again I'm fully guilty of writing another blog about how much i friggen mess up.

In case you haven't notice, my hair is fucking beautiful right now and i incredibly fucking hate it. brown is not me. I'm blond. I'm dumb. It may seem stupid but the color made me feel like it was OK to be stupid and mess up. I feel completely different with the hair i have now. though its my fault because I'm the one who used ugly die and got it all screwed up. Now i just have to wait till my hair grows out and I'm a natural blond again. WOOT! haha anyways. besides for my hair what else can i say. Well theres tons i could say, but i lot a wouldn't want to because of the people who would read this, only i know allot of people prolly don't, except for my Jude, whom i love and always knows how to  make me feel better.

anyways. boys are always a good subject. I'm going to be completely honest here. I get hurt really easily. This is of course my fault. I do choose the wrong guys to like and once i do they are the world to me, pretty sure i would take a bullet fer them if i had to. I know...i get quite stupid. Anyways, you know what i wish i could have? I wish i could have a double life were i was whore. Where that one cute boy in your neighborhood shagged it up anytime you were bored. Like, on t.v. the girl that always seems to have house calls and is never emotionally attached to the men, and visa versa. I mean, come now. I think anyone would say yes to no strings attached, no emotional commitment, sex with a very hot boy (or girl) I know I would if i had my way and things could turn out like that. But this is real life, and in real life, Kira is not a whore, Kira does get emotionally attached and it would just be a big mess to have a fling, cuz everyone would find out and eventually my vagina would get gross cuz sex does that. WOOT....ick.

Anyways, im not a freak just because i like astrology, or am a bit superstitious. It would be a bit conferting to know,"hey, your gonna have such and such amounts of bad luck, but all of this will be worth it because you'll get what you really need."
    I was taking a chain letter quiz that i thought i had taken thousands of times before. At the end of the quiz it told me that i would have a year of  a bad love life, but after that i would find my soul mate. If that was true, wouldn't it be OK to go through all the crap just knowing that the thing you've always wanted would be at the end of it. Granted I don't need a soul mate at my age, i can wait a while for that. But still. It would be nice to have a boy i really connected with. But hey whateves.
    Truly i think i should be a lesbian. I find girls extremely hot, but its the physical intamacy stuff that just kicks me. I couldn't imagine having sex with a girl, just seems akward, and like, guys....as bad as i am with them, they seem , for me atleast, less akward.Anyways, my grandmother just got back home, i have to go pick up my brother from teh play. It was sold out and he needs a ride back to the hosue.

I'm fucking tired of everyone criticizing me. Me I know it wont stop. Dosnt keep  me from writing.


yeah, fuck of. Sure there are tons of girls that are throwing up just to loose those last pounds. Maybe thats because some people haven't installed enough self confidence in them already. I was fat at one time, i was a geek and a looser, and i ended up growing up and maturing. I became the way i am with ought stuffing a hand down my throat and wasting countless hours pinning over the models i wish i was. i grew up with Disney princesses and dolls, and it doesn't make me a pussy roll over house wife personality. I wear make-up and take care of my skin and pluck my eyebrows. This doesn't mean I'm falling into the beauty standards that are just there to make money of you by changing who you are so you will fit into a socially excepted mold. No, i wear make up because its fun for me to do. Wake up, get read, do my hair, look nice. I'm not fucking conforming. I'm just doing what i want. I wear the clothing i wear because they make me feel happy. I feel confident in the clothes. That is not a shallow thing. I'm not going to wear sweat pants just to prove that you don't need to dress up everyday to look beautiful. I think sweat pants are disgusting and should be worn out of the house. Its tacky and just doesn't show class.

For all of you who think im anorexic and bulemic. Screw of please and find someone else's weight to analyze. The fact is i actually enjoy eating. Just so happens i ieat healthy unlike some of you fat whores. And no, I don't shove fist to upchuck the massive amounts of salad i had raw so that the non existant calories that i had just consumed, dosnt affect the figure i'm so desperately trying to watch. No, when i eat, i eat till im full, then pat my bloated stumoche and exhale a satified FULL sigh of releif.

I was not handed life on a silver platter. I wasnt handed life period. I was forced into it through a whores vagina. We'll call her my mom. You shouldn't be so dumb as to think my life has always been perfect. It is now, but i deserve it because of all the shit i went through. I don't have to pretend i was a victim. take a look at my past. It says it right there. Am i complaining? no I'm not because i couldn't change it even if i had the chance. It makes me a stronger person, and i see things most of you are blind to. I appreciate what i have now because of what I've gone through.
Take a look at your family. Its really not as horrible as you make it out to seem. Everyone else has a fucked up life, your no special. I have it easy, there are tons that have it so much worse. BE thankful for the fact that your parent/s or guardian/s or whatever you have are there. and if they really are shit, them I'm sorry and i feel for you. just hang in there because as soon as you hit 18 your outta there. You can make something of yourself and show them that they were wrong about you.


as hate full as all this seems i am very happy and thankful and fantastically lucky to live whith who i do. To have the friends i have and the futur i can expect.

I just get ticked of and have to vent, actually no, i just felt like writing. hell, you felt like reading, guess were both lame.